Still waiting perhaps?
Or should I have let go long ago already.
SOV' 07 ended on tuesday. I thought I would have cried, but I realised my heart was already hurt and it couldn't feel any more pain.
I thought I would feel like I was going to die when I know I'm going to part with the people I've gone through so much with.
It didn't feel that bad, or perhaps I'm too caught up in myself to feel anything much.
I know when I realise that they are no longer here and around my life, I will start to miss them and all the good things they have given me.
Someway or another, I really enjoyed Vjchoir '06-'07 and I know a huge chunk of myself will be gone when I stop singing.
Suddenly the emptiness is so overwhelming I found out that I don't really know myself after all.
What I have been doing, what I've been thinking.
You came, and I was overwhelmed to the point my life never was the same.
But reality had to come crashing down on us, and perhaps we realise this was only a dream, at least it was a beautiful one to me.
You've let go haven't you? You're just too afraid to tell me to wake up.
I'm really tired. When I got back to school and I saw how much I missed, it almost feels as though I should give up studying cos I can't catch up anyways. I feel so tired and I don't feel like trying so hard anymore. Somehow its during these times when you just feel so alone and you just feel so terrible pushing on with daily life not knowing what you've been doing. I think I was so afraid of being lost I tried to hang on to people or things which couldn't be constant at all.
Why am I so stupid? Everytime I tried to hold on, it was gone.
Why must everything around me fluctuate so much?
Its hard to concentrate on my studies when everything around me isn't a constant and I don't have time to wait for that to happen.
There's so much work for me to do now I just feel like knocking myself out and sleep for a year or smth.
Sometimes I think maybe I really need someone or people to bring me out and motivate me but I know tt's just running away and what the problem really lies is with me.
If I could only be really selfish, I really hope something life changing can happen to me right now and set me back on the right track.
-Me-
Danny Wong
04.07.89
holy innocent's pri.xinmin sec. vjc.
Vjchoir! =D
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