What is a computer? Is it some indispensible technology device that vastly increases the capability of men? Or is it some hypnotising devices that immobilises young men like me?
Hahax. I'm sucha a failure.
I just spent 4 hours+ on this stupid @#$@#$ machine chatting and typing some literature composition.
You know I have this really nasty feeling that I'm not making good use of my time but YET I have no mood to revise anything.
It's this stupid feeling that seems to bring bad grades, bad life, bad everything to me.
I had this really thought this morning. What am I really meant to accomplish in this life? After reading newspapers about global catastrophies such as avian flu and earthquakes and tsunamis that took away the lives of so many people, what am I supposed to do? I can't ignore the fragility of lives either, what if like those children in other countries I so happen to lose my live during the coming epidemic or something? If that happens whats the point of my parents spending such a hoard on me, and me spending so much time learning things, playing games etc etc?
It's really scary even thinking of it. Some children in India, or Africa, or even the almight America are starving to death every single day. What makes me so different from them? My race, my skin colour, or the language I speak? Nothing, all men are created equal. Yes that includes women. So every now and then I try to put myself in their shoes to try and simulate what it actually feels like.
Then I return to reality and ponder into deep introspection, so am I living such a great life myself? I really dont know myself, as you can see from my obviously illogical and confusing words. Sometimes my ever so wild and fertile imagination wanders off and I imagine earth, or perhaps the WHOLE galaxy maybe just one of the toys manufactured by some superior being somewhere else. You know, like how we create toys where the toys are actually ant nest and you breed the nest and they create a mini 'world' of their own. Perhaps we're one of these toys too. okay I'm crapping real bad.
In this society where all of us struggle to find our purpose and identity, it gets increasingly frustrating when you know you haven't actually done anything worthwhile in your life. Yet you never know where in a split of a second, your life can just expire. What happens after that? Family mourns for you, friends mourn for you, your face appears in the orbituary. Then years down the road nobody actually remembers whether you lived or not. Perhaps just your family but the pain will disappear. Will I see the stairway to heaven then? Or perhaps the ladder to hell for me lolx.
It really puts me in a dilemma man, stress free days will never exist anymore. Everyday becomes increasingly stressful. Yet what are we stressing ourselves for? To earn money, to get a wife and continue the family line, or perhaps to become a boss so that you enjoy social status and you can flash your gaudy diamond ring to your neighbours and mock and them for having no Ph.D in being an airhead. I always had this dream that maybe one day I'll just be able to abandon this complicated society and reach out for other lifestyles. Imagine you being some tribesman in the phillipines, will you ACTUALLY bother whether you're doing well in school? You probably won't be thinking whether your stocks fell or whether your boss is going to sack you today or something. But then again, there's no lifestyle that's stressless, there's no lifestyle where you can actually be really happy and you can do the things you really like.
The world is evil. Muarhahaha. okay tt's stupid.
Man I just feel like knocking myself on the head and sleep for 24 years and wake up as a 40-year old virgin or something. Okay... maybe it's not such a good idea cause I'll be old and useless and I probably end up sweeping floors. Wait a minute, sweeping floors require O lvl certificates. Maybe they even need degree in road sweeping from ITE or something.
How pathetic will that be then? Not everyone is academically inclined, there ARE people who just can't study but they have skills in other areas. What happens to them then?
You know, there are bubbles in economies, oil bubbles, economy bubbles and so on. What if there's a country bubble? You know when a country reaches a state where it's so advanced, the people are all mindless textbook reciting robots that spew a string of malicious sounding formulaes?(okay it's not tt bad). Where can a country progress then? It has to come down someday.
I do believe doomsday is gonna come soon, perhaps in a couple of centuries or so. Just LOOK all around us. Animals are extinct, forests are stripped. The world's getting hotter and the icebergs are melting. It is REALITY man, oil will deplete in a matter of time, people will start dying. Just think, nature has made ecosystems where predators eat prey to control their population. Since we have no predator, nature would probably come destroy us all. As you can see, nature has recenty decided to make some birds fall sick and kill millions of birds and soon-to-die humans. What use is it to swallow boxes of tamiflus? You're probably just afraid to die and you're eating tamiflu, depriving those who really need it and let them sneeze to death.
We are all selfish creatures aren't we? hahax. Okay I better go back to study malvolio and gang for my literature. I'll probably go bonkers if I continue thinking of all these ludicrous thoughts and turn into some nut. Don't be surprised if you see me putting limes into cokes tomorrow.Hahax. =D
I'll come and share some of my profound, abysmal thoughts some other day, probably after my O's which ends in FIVE DAYS. how cool is that. Hehex =D
-Me-
Danny Wong
04.07.89
holy innocent's pri.xinmin sec. vjc.
Vjchoir! =D
Share your thoughts...