Beautiful disaster

Sunday, August 21, 2005

It's over. I'm glad it is. I guess I got really sick of feeling so frustrated of whether to tell her or not that I decided to do it.
crazy isn't it?
Well I kinda prepared for what is to come already. It has already reached a stage where I'm ready to break it, or make it. It's alright isn't it? After all it's just an issue of liking. I'm not gonna be like orsino and liken 'love' to something 'highly fantastical' or something like that. I'm not gonna indulge myself in the notions of it either. Perhaps if it breaks, it's good cause I'll stop being tortured by it in any manner. great =D

I seem to be stuck in a perpertual chain of troubles though, finally I've decided to tell her and thought there would be no more such distressing issues. Another wrecked friendship had to come into my life. No it's not Hui ling, we already solved it already, but someone who has shattered all the love and trust i had in her again and again.

In the End -Linkin Park

One thing / I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know
time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It’s so unreal Didn’t look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on / but didn’t even know
Wasted it all just to
Watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart
What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter I had to fall
To lose it allBut in the end
It doesn't even matter
One thing / I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how
I tried so hard In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I’m surprised it got so (far)
Things aren’t the way they were before
You wouldn’t even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
In the end You kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart
What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the endIt doesn’t even matter
I had to fallTo lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I’ve put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go And for all this
There’s only one thing you should know
I’ve put my trust in you Pushed as far as I can goAnd for all this
There’s only one thing you should know
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter

I just felt that this song aptly expresses what I wanted to tell her. I'm not exactly happy that everything has to end up like this. But since the value of this 1 year+ 2 year friendship amount to nothing more than something that can be destroyed just by lies from other people. I see no point why it should go on. I'm sorry it has to end this way, but I'm sure you should very well know at the way you treat me, I'll end up walking out of your life. It's something sooner or later, but since you want it to end now, so be it then.

In case you don't know, I've done nothing of the sort you accuse me of. If you perpetually choose to be deluded in that fantasy world of yours, don't say I did not attempt to warn you and foreshadow the dire consequences that ensues.

This is it. In the End, what I've done doesn't even matter.

# | 4:11 PM |

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