I never actually knew how bad things can actually go because of a word or action. Until the recent events kinda changed the way i used to think.
My heart is has sunk, confused and terribly hurt.
Yes, jessandra was right, many things in the world are facades, and the more you trust these things, the harder you fall from them.
Sometimes unexpected things in life can really be overwhelming, so much so it washes and drowns out that little flame that flickers inside me.
Perhaps it's just a sign to tell me I'm wrong, A sign to tell me after all I've done, things haven't changed at all.
It really took alot out of me to stand up again, but those crutches i've learnt to walk with just snapped all of a sudden.
I still can't figure it why everyone thinks I don't cherish their friendships, and say all sorts of really nasty things, some of which are true, and some are not.
I guess I've expected too much.
I never should have bothered
I never should have thought this was real.
It's too late now to regret.
I've learnt to take it, I've learnt to see.
Perhaps friendships were never meant to be something constant.
People marvel at the many pleasures and things it gives
But did they see what pain it brings too?
We also see in dramas and people that when you reach the stage where you really care, it is when people tend to take it for granted.
Perhaps everything should be done in moderation
So there's no such thing as everlasting platonic friendship.
It comes to an end when you put too much into it, or reach to a point of saturation where you haf to decide to continue to plunge in, or pull out and break the whole thing.
This whole thing's too overwhelming.
I can't do anything else but shut myself out.
Nothing seems to be right, especially me.
Sigh, please don't ask me if I'm alright or something
Because it really makes it worse. thanks.
Life's gonna be normal, it's going to go on
But I've learnt a huge lesson
With a gigantic price tag.
What a pain.
I feel like being depressed and stop trying
But whenever i go about my life, people will ask.
If i suddenly performed badly during singing lesson cause i'm depressed, my teacher would scold me, and i'll feel as if i'm sad for nothing and i'm wasting my future.
But i don't know, I NEED to be sad because I am, yet I can't because I'm not expected to be and I sure can't afford to.
Sigh, what a big fat paradox.
-Me-
Danny Wong
04.07.89
holy innocent's pri.xinmin sec. vjc.
Vjchoir! =D
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