Everything's a facade, deceiving and alluring.
we often cry to ourselves then, wondering aloud why is everything like this.
But these cries are often unheard, only to resound in the deepest notch of our hearts.
What is real then? I ask
Is it the lies and drama that appears unceasingly in everywhere we go?
Or was it the time when we were young, ignorant children?
Perhaps it was, for it was the only time that we ourselves are true
Children never lie, everything to them appeared as far as the colours and shape of it.
As we grow older, we struggle to create walls, fake masks to appear strong and brave in front of others.
As Helena Kingshaw states. 'It is not always the bravest people that has the least fears"
You grow to hate everything. Glory and glamour wither as the waves of time washes them away.
Nobody would remember if you were their closest friend who went through endless troubles to help them.
All that remains is the lingering memory of how they once loved you so, and the stark reality that proves otherwise.
I struggle inside, I wish all of this was just my imagination. I want to look for something true and real. But I realised even adults have trouble themselves.
Colleagues smile at each other and converse with pretentious politeness.
Yet against each other's back they speak with malice and repugnance.
Such hypocrisy.
What does it exist?
People say I'm naive. The world is cruel.
It is, but surely there must be others like me who are searching for someone whom they can relate their real self to.
It is with age and experience that comes knowledge and maturity.
But it is also with age that one break free from their once perfect world where baddies are bad and heroes are good.
It's sad when you come to know the true form of human life.
It's just like how a teacher can be so friendly with you but in the end you find out she cares about the money more.
It's just like how you thought you've got a friend there, but when you suddenly pose as a threat to that friend, the tables are turned.
This isn't my first lament. It will never be the last either.
I am filled with such grief, to think that I will soon lose the only true friends soon, as i graduate and move on, to college where more pretense and facades exists.
As O levels draw near, the fear within me accumalates.
it's not the exams that scares me, but the fact that I'll progress to places worse than it is now.
Secondary 4 is the period of time when everything makes way for your studies.
The time when you lose such precious remaining time studying so as to do something you don't like, just to survive.
Perhaps nothing goes your way after all.
Or I'm just too pampered and protected.
I just refuse to accept the truth.
I'm sure there's a part of everyone that longs to demolish this wall of theirs that make them devoid of compassion.
Be it hardcore criminals or those that we label as brave and undaunted.
Perhaps it is because such criminals have been betrayed of their trust by jerks who has lost faith in people.
It's a vicious cycle, you cheat others, others lose faith and cheat others.
You don't trust others, they don't trust you, and all you get is relationship comparable to an empty shell.
So to those who are so free such that you read my blog, be the nicest you can be to everyone today =D
P.s. perhap i have lost my mind to write all this nonsensical thoughts.
-Me-
Danny Wong
04.07.89
holy innocent's pri.xinmin sec. vjc.
Vjchoir! =D
Share your thoughts...