Suddenly this thought came into my head.
Everytime I complain tt choir juniors nowadays haf lousy commitments and attitude. But think again, they may love to skip choir, but I'm starting to feel a little tired towards choir too.
I hate to admit it.
I hate to face it but it is true.
Why? I ask myself.
Is it because everytime I try to tell them to work harder because of my anxiety, and end uup making them listen to my crap and thus pissing them off?
It's true tt it did make me feel scared, afraid to tell them anything again.
Sometimes in exasperation I stop trying, I give up, unable to take it.
But then again, my conscience feels extremely uncomfortable for it knows I have been irresponsible and I have not given my best.
Ah, it's such a dilemma.
These factors and more causes me to dislike choir to a minimal extent.
I don't want that to happen, I miss the days when I was sec 1 and 2, when the people in the choir may be attitude, vulgar. But inside these unexpected people was a hidden passion, the love they had. It was amazing, it made syf 2003 the best one I ever had, even though we didn't get gold.
I really wonder, it must be because of me. All the wrong thing I've done.
It's so sad, I hate to say it, but it is.
No matter what the reasons are, I'm just not very happy because it gives me a feeling tt it's because of the sec 4 leaders, tt's why it has become like this.
Sad man. Why must it be like this? I really want to give it my best, just like i did for the last one. But the feeling's just not there.
Frustrating.
-Me-
Danny Wong
04.07.89
holy innocent's pri.xinmin sec. vjc.
Vjchoir! =D
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