I've been feeling much more relieved nowadays.
Happier, lighter, much better. Thanks to all my friends and phantom of the opera. lolx.
Have been thinking a little these few days. Suddenly I feel so guilty.
For the past few weeks, I felt so sick and tired of choir that I kind of gave up on it, refusing to put in much effort, even in my own singing part. Felt as if I suddenly lost touch on my singing.
I've read a post on my friends blog, felt tt it was so inspirational. I hope choir members are reading this.
The reason why we(choir in this case) want is gold isn't for the school. Xinmin will still continue to attain excellent(??) academic results. It's not for all the wonderful choir teachers too. They will still continue living their lives and teaching their classes no matter we get a gold or not.It doesn't affect Mr yong too. Because Mr yong can just quit teaching xinmin and there will be many schools waiting to call him up to conduct their choirs. It's for us, the overwhelming joy and satisfaction we will derive from getting a gold, as well as the guilt of knowing full well we could have gotten a gold but because we refused to do so and thus, giving up a gold.
It kind of woke me up, making me realise all I have been doing is lamenting all the way, and not giving my best in singing.
I'm guilty of it too, because I can easily refuse to work hard for syf and nothing will still happen. After all I've got all the Cca points I need, president, student leader. If I were to do something, cca points are definitely not the correct motivation.
So I could easily just slack around, and perform badly or not push the choir harder. The choir can just get a silver for all I care.
But I'll be guilty for the rest of my life, knowing full well I could haf given my best effort and probably made a difference to the overall outcome.
Think of the days we have left, it would hurt if I just tried my best for god's sake. If the choir still fails to get a gold, I wouldn't be sad, because I can confidently say that I have done my best. Won't be living with guilt either.
Even though I know tt if the choir didn't get a gold, part of the fault still lies with me, no matter how i try to run from it.
Think I'm going tell the choir this, provided they are interested in listening or not.
Oh wellx.
Gonna strive my best.
I'm suddenly inspired in a way.Kinda feels good. hahax.
-Me-
Danny Wong
04.07.89
holy innocent's pri.xinmin sec. vjc.
Vjchoir! =D
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